


Pity Me, Please

by MyPersonalKilljoy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff, Humour, M/M, but happy ending, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-07-26 18:26:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7585258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyPersonalKilljoy/pseuds/MyPersonalKilljoy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm kissing him before I even have a chance to think.</p><p>We had been fighting, I begin to recall, as I wonder how the hell my lips had gone from their position of <i>not on Harry fucking Potter's<i> to their current location.</i></i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Pity Me, Please

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah I can't sleep so here you go, it's crap but so am I. Jokes in amazing

I'm kissing him before I even have a chance to think.

My hands are on his jaw and his face is next to mine in the blink of an eye. His damn raven hair is brushing my fingertips and Merlin his lips feel so good against my own. 

My heart is drumming so fast I would be surprised if he didn't feel it.

I wonder if he thinks the beat is his own.

I'm so close to him right now, closer than I ever have been. Even during those countless fights where we would get so _close._ He would always be just out of my reach. 

We had been fighting, I begin to recall, as I wonder how the hell my lips had gone from their position of _not on Harry fucking Potter's _to their current location.__

__But fighting with Potter was such a common, mundane occurrence, I fight with Potter all the time. I certainly don't kiss him._ _

__I'm kissing him now._ _

__Speaking of which, I should probably give him the memo seen as though he apparently has no idea. In all the two seconds that our lips have been connected he has done nothing but stare at me with those green eyes and stand there like the complete idiot he is._ _

__I don't think I've ever seen his eyes from this close before._ _

__I briefly wonder what I should do, about five more seconds and this whole lip brushing thing will get really awkward._ _

__He's awfully close to me._ _

__Like, close enough to smell him. Which I know is a very strange thing to say but Merlin, I'm kissing Boy Wonder. Can things get any stranger?_ _

__He smells like pine and leather and all these other things that I can't name because I don't usually go around smelling random objects as a frame of reference. But I would, I think. I would travel the whole world just to find the exact name of how Harry Potter smells, keep it in a bottle and put it by my bedside. Right next to the restraining order he will no doubt gift me with once this is over._ _

__I've never kissed anyone before. I've never really wanted to I don't think. I never really found the appeal of smashing my face against someone else's and swapping saliva with them._ _

__Even when all my other dorm mates bragged about how they scored with some Ravenclaw girl I had stayed out of it._ _

__I can't even imagine sex without going pale, it just seems so... Unsanitary. What with all the fluids and body parts that I have _no_ desire of touching. _ _

__Blaise called me a prude._ _

__I charmed his dinner to bite back._ _

__I'm still kissing him, which is odd. I would have expected him to hex me by now, it's been a good six seconds._ _

__Not that I've been counting._ _

__His eyes are still wide with shock and I have the urge to tell him to close them, because that's what people do, right? Close their eyes when they kiss. But that would mean building a wall between me and those green forests that have taken residence in Potter's irises._ _

__He must not have shaved this morning because I can feel the stubble on his chin, harsh and, well, _stubbly_ against my finger tips. His skin feels soft though, which is nice._ _

__His lips feel nice too. Much nicer than I would have expected. They're chapped and a little dry, like he has forgotten to use lip balm._ _

__I wonder if he uses lip balm at all. Maybe I'll ask him after._ _

__Although thinking about it he doesn't seem the type. Unless his secret to killing evil wizards is magic strawberry lip balm._ _

__Why the hell am I thinking about lip balm when I'm kissing Harry Potter?_ _

__The real question is why I'm kissing Harry Potter at all._ _

__I was just walking to Charms -like a good, hardworking student- when a hand appeared out of nowhere and dragged me in a broom cupboard. Instantly I whipped out my wand, about to practice said Charms -again, my studious nature shines through- on whatever idiot has decided to attack me when those stupid, stupid, stupid green eyes appeared._ _

__I told him I had to go to class -honestly I should win an award, even while being manhandled and abused I still care about lessons- and for him to stop being such an idiot when he starts accusing me of Merlin knows what._ _

__I've stopped trying to keep up with Potter's opinions of me, one can only take so many inane conspiracy theories before it starts getting boring._ _

__Although I do remember this one being something about werewolves._ _

__Potter kept getting closer to me and jabbing his finger in my chest as if he had a _right to_ and I just got so tired of him in that moment._ _

__Because I am so tired._ _

__I'm tired of everything. I'm tired of trials and court cases, shady lawyers and knowing smirks. I'm tired of the ghosts that live in the Manor, even the ones that don't speak manage to tell stories. I'm tired of the glares and the tripping jinxes, biased professors and unforgiving students. I'm tired of father who forgets to write and mother who sends three letters a day just so her hands will stop shaking. I'm tired of the pain and the guilt and the worry and everything._ _

__I'm tired of Potter. Because I spent seven years trying to get his attention, I acted out and made plots and threatened him and it didn't matter. I was a little girl pulling his pigtails and the only thing he did was bite back. He hated me in the most nonchalant way it was painful. And now, at the one point in my life where I just can't deal with him, he is everywhere._ _

__Every corner I take he follows, each room or corridor, Merlin he even followed me into the bathroom once!_ _

__It just isn't fair._ _

__I used to think Potter was different._ _

__Because before, when everyone else in the school looked at me, they're eyes only held indifference. They didn't care. I knew that. I wasn't an idiot, I knew that no one cared, I've always known. Maybe that's why I've always made such a show of ignoring it._ _

__Yet every single time I stared into Potter's eyes, I saw hatred. Pure, unadulterated hatred. It shines through his soul, travels to his beautiful green pools and through those idiotic glasses, then it fills my entire body, tickling my toes with its intensity. All of that hatred was just for me, it was _mine.__ _

__Potter felt like mine, right in this moment. With my hands dancing along his skin lightly, like I was playing just three keys on a piano._ _

__Things changed however, when we came back to school. The Headmistress came up with the idea of 'Eighth Year'. I only agreed because I knew I wouldn't survive back at the Manor._ _

__Of course this was entirely the wrong decision, because now the hatred had apparently leaked out of Potter's eyes and gone into everyone else's._ _

__Hatred followed my every step like a committed bloodhound. I could deal with this, hatred was something that Malfoys have grown accustomed to._ _

__It was Potter that really broke me._ _

__Because hatred wasn't the only thing in those green orbs of his. Something much worse lurked in their depths._ _

__Pity._ _

__Potter pitied me. Pitied me like one pities a little, blind Kneazel with three legs. Only I'm more handsome; obviously._ _

__Potter's lips were pliant under my own, moving with mine like we were a well oiled machine._ _

__Potter defiantly didn't pity him now. No, Potter's eyes were ablaze with... Something._ _

__It's a strange expression that I can't describe, I've never seen it before. It makes his eyes somehow brighter. Bright enough to make me wonder why they weren't always like this. Was I the only one who could do this to him? Am I the only one that has made his eyes so bright? Who else has controlled Potter's lips, moving them and kissing them and actually _touching_ them. Who else has tipped back Potter's head to make for a better fit? _ _

__His glasses are digging into my cheek but I couldn't care less, it makes it better, in a way._ _

__It makes me giddy, more giddy than I can remember ever being. Kissing Potter was magical, better than everything I have ever experienced. I'm more excited than the time I got my first broom when I was seven._ _

__I would take Potter's lips over a new broom any day._ _

__The more I kiss him, the more I believe that I would take him over anything._ _

__I certainly wasn't tired of him now._ _

__I'm not sure how long we have been kissing. I only know that at some point my hand reached up to his jaw and his back is against the wall and I feel lightheaded. Have I been holding his jaw the entire time? When did I start kissing him? It feels like I've been kissing him my entire life, his lips living an eternity on mine, scarring my face just like he did my chest. Just like he did my heart._ _

__His skin feels on fire and finally, _finally_ I feel movement under my mouth. I'm pretty sure I should push him away, but he's against a wall so he can't escape and that means I would have to walk away._ _

__I can't walk away. Not again._ _

__I can't turn away from the light. I can't turn away from _my_ light. My tiny little light hidden away in Potter's chest. I'm not going to run away again, just because it's easy. _ _

__Before I ran away to survive, now I'm going to stay so I can live._ _

__His lips are moving, and his tongue is doing a weird kind of dance against my lips. I open them because I'm pretty sure that's what you're supposed to do. I remember Zabini talking about French kissing a while ago, and I'm fluent in French, so it can't be that hard._ _

__Suddenly there's an extra tongue in my mouth and I'm making noises that are completely degrading and shameful but I don't even care. My eyes have managed to slip closed and I open them quickly, I can't miss a single second. This is my one chance, I'm not going to miss it just because my stupid eyes. I need to look at Potter, I always do. He's like a beacon, my lighthouse in a storm. He's loud and obnoxious and so damn noble it is tiring but he grounds me. His hate reassuring me in the most messed up way. I'm completely deranged; I need to look at Potter._ _

__Except he's already looking at me._ _

__And maybe that's even better than the actual kissing._ _

__He skims his tongue over the roof of my mouth and that previous thought is instantly scrapped._ _

__My knees tremble and I let out a whimper -father would be _appalled._ _ _

__I feel him smirk against my lips, his tongue delving somehow deeper._ _

__I really must be insane._ _

__Except Potter is kissing me too, so maybe we're both insane. Maybe someone will come in and take us both to St Mungos. Maybe we can live out the rest of our days in the Janus Thickey Ward. Merlin, I sound like a first year talking about their celebrity crush._ _

__I start running out of breath, my throat closing up and getting tight. My lungs are grasping at straws and life must really hate me because I start to pull away._ _

__Our lips break apart but our noses are still touching. It tickles a little. I love it._ _

__We're still staring into each others eyes._ _

__He looks scared, or maybe that's just my reflection in his glasses._ _

__My heart is hammering and my brain is melting and Merlin he looks so pretty._ _

__I'm scrambling for words but I can only think of enough letters to spell out how much I want to kiss him again._ _

__His eyes are so powerful. It's a sin to hide them behind his glasses._ _

__I've never told anyone that I loved them._ _

__No one except for Mother, that is. Plus that one time when I told Pansy I was completely and utterly head over heels for her so she would do my Charms homework, but that doesn't count._ _

__I wouldn't do it, obviously. I'm not going to say anything that stupid. This whole situation is ruined enough without any one sided love confessions._ _

__I can still taste his lips on mine._ _

__"Do you use lip balm?" I ask, because I'm well known for my masochism._ _

__He laughs as if I'm some sort of idiot. Which I guess is true. His eyes scrunching up and I've never seen him smile this close before. I think I'm in love with him. I know I'm in love with him._ _

__I'm kissing him before I even have a chance to think._ _


End file.
